orgasm happiness is the ultimate goal in life, amiright? The other day I got to thinking about the little things in life that make me happy. Here's what I came up with:
|HAPPINESS IS GETTING A PACK OF STARBURSTS AND REALIZING THAT MOST OF THEM ARE PINK.|
Sorry for yelling.
...seeing that San Francisco is still San Francisco in spite of the chafe-y changes taking place here.
I'm always reading articles bashing SF in some way: whether people are complaining about the astronomical rent prices, the onslaught of tech douches pervading the city or homeless people relieving themselves in Bart stations - SF seems to be the sand in a lot of people's underwear these days. Can't we all quit complaining about this otherworldly slice of earth and take a moment to appreciate the wonderful freaks who still inhabit it? Seeing them around town makes me feel happy
and considerably less fucked in the head.
...receiving texts like these from Uber right after I stub my toe and think my week is going to shit:
...relishing in life's little milestones.
I lose things. It's what I do. It's who I am. If this irritates you we will probably never be close. On Sunday I celebrated my 6 month anniversary with my keys. It makes me happy to have had so much time with them and I hope we don't part for at least another couple months or so. Thank you so much for all your well wishes, by the way; my heart is bursting and we are thrilled! We celebrated by cracking open a couple Keystone lights. Commitment is always key. Belated apologies for the dad jokes.
...celebrating life's big milestones.
Speaking of anniversaries, my parents celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary over the weekend. Pretty insane.
...realizing that just because my parents have been basking in martial bliss for over half a century doesn't make me inferior or any less of a human being for being a 33 year old single girl who gets text messages like this BECAUSE ROMANCE IS STILL ALIVE, DAMMIT.
...checking things off my Monday list and gloating about it on instagram.
...walking through the door after not having been home for 8 months and being greeted by the loves of my life: Flossie and Coco.
flossie and coco coming at me at 47585 MPH
...finding old childhood photos like this one from 1988, a time when my brother and I went through 8 nannies in 2 years and my parents slowly began to realize that having me solely to keep him company was something of a grave mistake.
...receiving texts like these from your friend and being reminded of why you're friends
...waking up and feeling accomplished for having self control. My best friend decided to get a serious boyfriend without consulting with me about it first (<3 ya, Gym) so I don't spend 24/7 with her anymore. So yeah, sometimes I get lonely and crave attention - mainly after a couple cocktails. It's not uncommon for me to reach into my arsenal of ex boyfriends/crushes/whatevers and text them. When I don't do this it makes me very very happy. No judgments please, this is a safe space.
...not licking envelopes for a living. I love my new job and praise Ghandi I don't have to worry about OD'ing on envelope sealing chemicals on the reg.
...finding random stains on the earth, pointing at them and exclaiming "doesn't that look like a dick?!!!!"
...digging up my old cell phones, charging them and noticing how much I have
...these two handsome corgis spotted on Crissy field.
In all seriousness though:
True contentment is reached when one's desire to be validated or accepted by anyone other than oneself ceases to take up space in one's consciousness.
I may have regressed back into a 12 year old pervert child in a lot of ways (please see majority of this post) but I my above statement becomes truer and truer every day.
Hope you find some happiness today, friendos!
PMS. You can follow me on snapchat if you like toe pick and want to see it in video form: owlbunting