NIGEL'S TOP 20 OWN PERSONAL DEALBREAKERS.
Dealbreaker #2: I have a valley girl/Northern/Southern accent all rolled into 1. For example, instead of saying "bridge," I say "braaaahdge." Lots of times people will ask me the name of my blog and I will respond, "Toe Pick" to which they will confusedly say "Toe Pag?" I am working on enunciating more and sounding more like Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel Air and less like Hilary.
|See, that was an awkward silence Toe-Pick style|
DEALBREAKER #5: I will drink all your water/Gatorade. Don't even give me a sip.
|you know the songs Sweet Disposition and 40 Day Dream? I made at least 6 people HATE them.|
DEALBREAKER#8: I always stay longer than I am supposed to.
DEALBREAKER#9: I am severely directionally challenged. I've heard boys like girls who take the lead and know where they're going. Well I can't and I don't.
|where to? F if i know.|
DEALBREAKER#11: I am pretty passionate about animal rights - boys seem to find this annoying. And girls do too... sorry Kristal.
DEALBREAKER#12: The only thing i can cook is ramen. and toast. Oh, and I made an egg once back in college.
|Busy making ramen|
DEALBREAKER#13: Guys: It's okay, you can go take a shower. I am going to sit here and go through your text messages and then confront you when you get out.DEALBREAKER#14: My middle name is "Incessant"... I freak out if I don't get my way - I think it's because i wasn't breast fed enough as a baby. I am always wanting more of what I want. That also explains why I sucked my thumb for so long.
DEALBREAKER#15: I analyze things until they barely exist, especially boys. "Do you think he didn't call because a tree fell on his cell phone? What do you think he meant when he asked me where I am from? Did he blink twice or thrice when he asked me if I have any pets?
DEALBREAKER#16: I have a pretty crooked sense of humor. I play practical jokes on people like a 12 year old and find the grossest things funny. EX: I took this pic last Thanksgiving. I flung creamed onions in my sister Elizabreath's hair and she walked around for an hour before she noticed. But everyone else noticed and didn't think it was creamed onions....(if ya know what i mean). That's what you get for wearing a scrunchie, Elizabreath!
DEALBREAKER:#17: I have a blog called Toe Pick AND I like the color pink. oops.
DEALBREAKER#17: I can't remember your name so I call you Nige.
DEALBREAKER#18: I blog about my break ups -->click here for a nice little refresher
DEALBREAKER#19: I like ABBA.
DEALBREAKER#20: I touch my hair a lot and I always get food on my face and/or person when I eat. WITHOUT FAIL. It makes for pretty uncomfortable dates.
"You're very brave." Kristal texted me after she proof-read this entry. "I could never do this." Kristal is right. This week has been particularly candid and some may have interpreted some of the material as being inappropriate. Mom, I hope you aren't too appalled...just think of this as getting me one step closer to writing for SNL. love ya.
That concludes DEALBREAKER WEEK. Let us all bask in our Dealbreaking-ness together. In the end, dealbreakers are what makes one unique and you may as well embrace them, even if you are a fugly muni shoe wearing, cursing, webbed handed, wife-beater wearing, murse carrying, power walking, in-door spitting, tongue-tied, virgin who produces white film on the sides of your mouth when you talk... It's better to be a Dealbreakoid than someone who brings nada to the mesa. (nothing to the table.)
Have a stupendous weekend.