Bachelor # 3
THE BUTTERSCOTCH PRODUCER
(note: I am the commentator in the pink for those of you who are having a slow day)
I've known Jake since I was thirteen and had clear braces. He is such a catch. In fact, he was the first person I thought of when I began this project. "Jake" is Jake's given name. Not Jakeathon, Yacob or any other variation. Got it Jakenigel. He was born in Maryland, grew up in New York and moved to San Francisco shartly after college. On weekends he enjoys exploring the great outdoors, getting weird and feeling fragile on Sundays. You need to read my Sunday remedy guide if you haven't already, Jakels. Jake failed to mention that he is a producer - a real live producer. How kewl is that? Ladies - I am sure you'd want to star in one of his
x rated films. He is as talented as a three legged juggling midget. In terms of style I like to refer to him as predgy - preppy with an edge. Yep, he's a predge.
THE MASTER AT WORK
Let's get right to the interview questions, shall we?
If you were a type of food what kind of food would you be and why?
Activia. I'm a team player.
You know how I feel about anything Jamie Lee Curtis promotes, Jake. Nothing like a herm advocating the importance of eating a yogurt to keep you regular. Gotta love her. I mean, him. Fine - shim.
If there was a movie made about you who would you like to see play you?
Wesley Snipes, Bill Murray or Jake McKenna.
Describe yourself in 3 words.
Good one, Nige.
That was my attempt at being serious Nige. That was hurtful.
How would you react if you transformed into a fish?
I would lead a revolution.
Inspiring. Go get 'em Nemo.
What is your idea of a perfect date?
Adventure mixed with drinks, laughter, chips and guacamole.
Would you date a girl who was missing a chromosome?
Intense, how is her guacamole.
I'd say weak... to quite weak. She forgot the avocado.
What movie best describes your sex life?
Pee-wee's Big Adventure
How do you left click a round mouse?
Don't panic. You'll figure it out.
Thanks Nige. I needed to hear that.
Love ya Jake - ladies, if you're interested in turning my friend Jake's avocado into guacamole e-mail me at email@example.com