Hey pumpernickels! I have been told by a number of people that I need to post in TPSF more frequently so I have been spending my time writing my face off. Unfortunately, I have been writing in increments and these increments include random thoughts and topics that I need to somehow connect to each other. While I organize my ideas/ writings I am going to be a chafe and post an excerpt from an old post. I am heading HOME to
Vagina Virginia tomorrow morning so I will have plenty of time to write and construct more posts in between mucking stalls and helping my mom out around our farm (that's a post in itself, right?) Oh, and I am sure to find TONS of material at the airport and on the plane tomorrow. The airport and plane are like the godparents of the Muni and bus stop. What I'm trying to say is: stay tuned for tons and tons of Toe Pick posts! 'Til then, read this:
I babysat tonight and after the little tykes went to bed I found myself bored. there were no egg rolls in the freezer and their dog whom I normally hang out with was sound asleep. i picked up the latest issue of Vanity Fair earlier today and decided to attempt to read it. My brother works for VF so i thought that out of respect for him I should put my US, People, and Life & Style aside and try and support his mag. Boring. The only thing I end up reading in VF is the final page wherein an obscure public figure is interviewed. Below are my own personal responses to said interview questions.
- What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
- Living in a world of incessant awkward silences and not having the social tools to squash them. Also, being trapped in an elevator with a large person with coffee breath.
- Where would you like to live?
my dream house
- In a tree house set deep in the woods somewhere in New Zealand and modeled after the home of the Berenstain Bears with a just few more amenities. and by amenities i mean egg rolls, p-funks, and Us weekly.
- What is your idea of earthly happiness?
- To be surrounded by friends, family, all animals, Ryan Reynolds, beachcombers, Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, George Clooney and egg rolls in a haribo gummi bear factory in Bora Bora.
- Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
- Beavis&Butthead, Ren and Stimpy, Gumby, Teddy Ruxbin, Amelia Bedelia, and Eloise.
- Who are your favorite characters in history?
- Who are your favorite heroines in real life?
love ya momsie
- My mother-Lady Di, and Jane Goodall.
- Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
moira, the human angelica
- Angelica from Rug Rats. What a handful.
you are anything but angelic, Angelica
- Your favorite painter?
- The dude with the big fro who says things like "Lets put a happy little cloud over here. Oh and let's give him a little tree as a friend. Therrre we go." Oh and my mother is an amazing painter too.
- Your favorite musician?
- Axl Rose. Van Morrison.
- The quality you most admire in a man?
- Sense of humour, lack of creepy black sneakers and v-necks, nice teeth, edgy and someone who will serve me haribo gummi bears for breakfast in bed.
- The quality you most admire in a woman?
- Sense of humour, humility, kindness and I admire a woman who doesn't call me "Lady" or "girl." also, I admire girls with good a-hole radar because mine is not very strong.
- Your favorite virtue?
- Your favorite occupation?
- writing, acting, dog-walking
- Who would you have liked to be?
- Actress or veterinarian, Or a haribo gummibear packager.
- If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? I would like to come back as a seahorse.
- Your most marked characteristic? Humor, immaturity, awkwardness
- What do you dislike most about your appearance?
- From the side I've been told I look like Juliette Lewis. I also get Hilary Swank a lot. Both observations are hurtful.
- Which living person do you most despise? Michael Vick is among the 3 people I dislike the most.
- What is the trait you most deplore in others?
- What do you most like in a man? Didn't you already ask me this? I like men who don't still live in their parents basement.
- What do you most value in your friends? I like that they generally do not like the same people as me.
- What is your principle defect?*
- *I am not sure right now, but this bullet point to my left that I can't figure out how to delete is this blog entries' principle defect
- Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Do you know what I mean?" or "For Sure." or "Totally."
- What is your idea of happiness?
- Not having a cowlick.
- What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
- Once again, my greatest misfortune presently is not being able to get rid of this bullet point to my left. Thanks blogger. Also, I think loneliness is a great misfortune.
- What would you like to be?
- Bend over and I'll show you.
- In what country would you like to live?
- Wherever Haribo Gummi bears are manufactured
- What is your favorite color?
- I like black.
- What is your favorite flower?
- snap dragons. i always make them talk.
- What is your favorite bird?
- A vulcher. they don't give a sh*t, they are good sharers and they are always there to clean up a mess. i like these qualities in my friends too.
- Who are your favorite prose writers?
- do what now?
- Who are your favorite poets?
- Vagina Wolfe.
- Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
- Lady MacBeth. What a pistol.
- Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? Mrs. Doubtfire.
- Who are your favorite composers?
- Who are your heroes in real life?
- My father.
- Who are your favorite heroines of history?
- What are your favorite names?
- Isabel. William. Cate. Nigel. Gwyndalyn. Fortesque. Lynos. Herbert. TOMOTHAN.
- What is it you most dislike?
- any person who abuses, dislikes or is intolerant of animals.
- What historical figures do you most despise?
- I am not sufficiently educated to say
- What natural gift would you most like to possess?
- I would like to be a natural organizer with exceptional atTentiOn to deTAiL. also, i wish i could sing gospel
- How would you like to die?
- choking on a haribo gummi bear and/or egg roll.
- What is your present state of mind?
- I am nervous that as the questionnaire has progressed my answers have become too serious for Toe Pick
- What is your motto? "Life is shart - spend it cackling. Do you know what I mean?" xo, Nige