"I forgot how much I missed watching you eat." My brother Charlie commented as I unsuccessfully attempted to slurp up some scalding hot clam chowder overflowing from my spoon. We were sitting outside at La Forge, a
touristy locals only, mediocre-at-breast scrumptious restaurant overlooking the Tennis Hall of Fame in Newport, Rhode Izland. Charlie had just gotten back from Iraq and it was the first time I'd seen him in over a year. It was comforting and hurtful to know that it wasn't my sparkling personality and stellar story telling skillz he missed, but instead the way I tackle the task of consuming a meal of food.
|cooking with nige|
I like to play with my food a lot too - one time I made my baked potato look like Joe Pesci. Oh and there was also that time I made emoticons out of my
I don't generally eat in front of boys but I will consume 12.5 egg rolls in front of my gurlfriendz. *Flashback to Ole Miss when I'd drop $37 on egg rolls from the local Chevron on any given weekend. I know what you're thinking - Chevron, ew. It's not as bad as it sounds, jerks. This particular Chevron is hailed as Oxford's number 1 post bar sanctuary - it's a place where drunken Ole Miss students can stumble in and gorge on massive quantities of delicious southern fried foods including their renowned Chicken on a Stick, egg rolls, pizza rolls and biscuits. Chevron is synonymous with heaven to an over served, hungry Ole Miss student.
Many a time One time, I ventured to ask a Chevron employee for their egg roll recipe and I'll never forget the way she looked at me - it was as if I'd asked her to cut off her rat tail. She wouldn't budge. But I understood - most people from the deep south won't divulge their long beloved recipes. I bet those egg rolls had been in her family since the Emancipation Proclamation was issued or whatever.
I'll never forget the time when my roommates decided to rub my gluttony in my face by posting a Chevron receipt from a particularly rowdy Friday night onto our fridge - it was so long it nearly skimmed the floor. Lemme tell you, it was quite humbling to wake up
on my living room floor covered in sweet-n-sour sauce sticky and confused and head to the fridge to fetch some purple stuff Sunny D only to be confronted by a receipt documenting my torrid affair with 37 bucks worth of gas station egg rolls from the night before. I've made everyone quite aware that I am unhealthily obsessed with egg rolls, so much so that some people suspect there is a Freudian explanation behind said obsession. But just because I enjoy the occasional egg roll doesn't mean I don't have a delicate pallet. I used to have my mom make me pate sandwiches back in elementary school, much to the disgust of my classmates who would taunt me every time I laid out my lunchbox contents onto the cafeteria table.
Why am I writing about food, you ask? Well when my breast friend's boyfriend, Danny Turkovich (also known as the person I
always sometimes go to for boy advice) asked me to feature his amazing startup called RecipeBox on Toe Pick I was more than happy to oblige. Truth be told, there's been a lull in my life ever since Amanda Bynes was committed to a mental hospital and has consequently been unable to tweet. I needed a project to keep me busy so when Danny approached me and said he would let me create my own personal RecipeBox for free and help make me whatever meal I wanted in exchange for featuring RB on Toe Pick I was all over it. It's no secret that I can't cook for shit - one time my mom gave me the daunting task of stirring the creamed onions at our Thanksgiving dinner. (She really only lets me stir, chop, or fill water glasses at family dinners) Anyway, I ended up flinging the creamed onions in my beloved sister's hair. She walked around for a good 45 minutes with this white sticky substance in her locks - I can only imagine what our guests thought! That's what you get for wearing a scrunchie, Monica Elizabreast.
If you’re like me
Click here to check out my RecipeBox, Nigel's Nibbles.
It was such a delightful meal
I love you.