|Likely watching an OJ doc.|
Behold my list of things I am going to say good-bye to in the name of the resurrection of Jesus Christ Lord Almighty the Greatest Lambchop ever in the world. Or whatever.
1. Saying sorry.
I say I'm sorry a lot...even for the littlest things, like aggressively shoving someone out of the way as I'm trying to exit Muni. I say I'm sorry for spilling scalding hot soup on my fellow Uberpool passenger. Sometimes I say I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry. The other day I sent an e-mail to a client and forgot to add the attachment. This happens quite often, because I typically don't care enough about what I'm sending to be detail-oriented about it. I quickly sent a follow-up email with the attachment and vehemently professed my shame for my blunder. I asked for forgiveness and the client coolly replied "No worries." It would have been so much cooler if I sent the attachment and said "Here it is. I forgot to send it a few minutes ago. Move the fuck on, Rhonda from HR."
I scroll through instagram more than Kanye West jerks off to a picture of Kanye West. Instagram has the power to give me FOMO, anxiety and major life-envy. It's like with each photo I see of a giggly baby girl with a monogrammed bonnet sitting on a beach betwixt her mom and dad the more I feel behind in life. Especially when I'm sitting betwixt a king-sized bag of Nacho Cheesier Doritos and a bottle of buttery chard on a bean bag chair. Giving up instagram will no doubt be harder for me than PeeWee Herman at an adult theater, but sometimes that's life. I would give up Facebook as well, but then how would I promote this very post that you're reading? Ah, the trials and tribulations of being my own pube-licist.
3. Drunk texting.
I never thought at my age this would still be an issue but it is. Waking up after a night out and realizing I didn't drunk text a guy makes me feel like galloping through a dewy field of daisies, flailing my arms and batting my eyelashes in jubilation. Ah, self control is a beautiful thing.
The new show called the People VS OJ Simpson on FX has reignited my intense 20 year fascination with the OJ Simpson case. In addition to watching the show I've taken it upon myself to watch every fucking documentary on the case known to man. So yeah, I have an obsessive personality; I can't help it - that's just how I was born. Said obsession has caused a rift between my mother and I and has made me miss out on fun social events. I know more about the case than Judge Ito does. Hi, I'm Alexandra and I'm an OJ Simpson case-aholic. (Hi Alexandra.)
And, that's all I can think of for now. Happy Thursday little worms!