You'll arrive with a clean slate. You'll make a grand entrance and you'll be sober, unscathed. You'll be blissfully unaware of what you're in for; not realizing that some parts of the party will be filled with laughter. Not knowing that on occasion, it could also be filled with tears; but that's okay - that's your party.
You could fall down. In fact, you probably will...a few times. But you'll get back up and be better. Your friends will be there to make sure that you do.
You could lose a couple things at the party...your friends will be there for you again; they'll help you find whatever it is you've lost.
Your hosts (parents) will want you to love your party. They want you to have the best time possible. They want to see you smile; they'll want to see you happy. They'll play your favorite songs and want you to dance to them. They'll hope you party responsibly even though they know it can be hard at times. Mistakes are going to be made. That's life...that's your party.
You'll want a few people in particular to stay at the party until it ends; even though they're making a mess. You'll think they're a good addition to the party, regardless of the mess they've made. You'll think you need them there in order for you to be happy at your party. You'll think that without them, your party will be incomplete.
They'll leave early.
They won't want to stay at your party.
You won't realize it in that moment, but those are the people you should hold the door for. Those are the people you wish hadn't been invited in the first place; but in a way you're glad they were, because without them you wouldn't know how truly great your party could be.
There will be people at the party you'll compare yourself to; people there who you think have it all: the right shoes, the right clothes, the right hair, the right life. You'll wonder how you look to them. You'll wonder if you're saying the right things at your party and if you're making the right impression. You'll want them all to like the way you are. You'll worry that they don't.
You'll come to a point where you'll say fuckit. You'll realize all that worrying about all those little, insignificant things was unnecessary. You'll realize how little these things matter, and how much being human does.
As the party goes on you'll become comfortable dancing in the corner by yourself; you won't care if people watch you, don't like you or judge you. You'll realize that your party is too short for that.
You'll realize that when the party ends, all you want for people to remember is that you were good and sweet.
That's life; that's your party.
In loving memory of Bunnie Quinn, a lady who was remarkably good and sweet.
Rest in Peace