We all have that one person who we admire above all. For me, that person is my Dad, whose name is Si. Sometimes, in various situations I'll think to myself: What Would Si Do? I did this in this instance and the answer I came up with? He'd never be rattled by an app called unfollowgram, that's for fucking sure.
But there I was, letting this ridiculous app effect my day and HOLY SHIT I NEED TO STEP AWAY FROM MY PHONE AND GET A LIFE.
The most important lesson I continue to learn as I grow older is that
People are thinking of themselves most of the time.
Let's say you're talking to a coworker. We'll call her Tabitha. You and Tabby are in a meeting and you notice she is scowling in your general direction. You think to yourself: Tabby hates me because I forgot to add the attachment to an email I sent her earlier. She thinks I'm stupid and careless and she's going to mention the blunder to my boss, then I'll be fired and have to move in with my parents. What's actually happening is: Tabby is scowling because she's suffering from a UTI she got from banging her dickhead tinder boyfriend and she's not looking at you, dipshit - she's looking at the clock and counting down the minutes until she can bolt from the meeting and slurp up a gallon of cranberry juice to ease the burning sensation.
Thinking about what another person thinks of you is as productive trying to give an Over The Pants Handy under Niagara Falls
Trying to dissect how another person might perceive you robs you of the present moment. I struggle every day to establish a marriage between the present moment and my mind. The only times I really let my mind run rampant without any hesitation is when I'm writing and need to imagine the future or pull from the past to create content. But in general, I've grown terrifically tired of the residual effects of overthinking. When I find myself speculating about what Darryl Dipshit thinks of me I am essentially leaving the shallow end of contentment and control and diving into the deep end of worry and uncertainty. Staying present (most of the time) is wildly essential to my sanity. I'm sure it is to yours, too.
Letting people's opinion of you effect you can be stunting/paralyzing
Let's take a look at successful people: Steve Jobs, for example (RIP). You think he gave a rats ass what people thought of him? Same with people like Beyonce and Ghandi. That's how they all became so successful - they didn't care.
If I got too much in my head about what people thought of me I wouldn't be able to write this entire fucking blog, because - let's face it: I am putting it allll out there for everyone to see. It would be absolutely crippling for me to pay too much attention to what Doreen from Accounting thinks of what I have to say on Toe Pick, assuming she reads it.
Not everyone is going to like you
I do not consider myself to be what some would say (for lack of a better word) "normal". I'm an acquired taste. We all are - we are all made up of different parts, that's what denotes individuality. I know there are
Life is so short - think about chocolate cake, not Glenn
This is something I think a lot of females have problems with: over thinking about an ex or someone who is doesn't reciprocate romantic feelings. This is literally the biggest waste of time. Lying in bed thinking about someone who is not thinking about you and is likely banging another person is so extremely tragic. When this happens, it is pertinent to shift your focus to something wildly random. Think about dildos, Fidel Castro, monkeys, global warming, Donald Trump's toddler hands, OJ Simpson's guilt, Ross Perot's ears and why he never once considered pinning them, where tollbooth workers park their cars (SEROIUSLY, is there a fucking parking lot on the side of the highway? Or are they airlifted in and out of their booths?), how snakes mate (they already are a penis so WHAT THE FUCK, HOW DOES IT WORK!?), butt plugs (seriously, are those really a thing and what is their purpose?), or whatever else your warped little mind chooses to think of. (BTW, your are welx for the suggestions and insight to the inner workings of my brain).
In conclusion, always remember that the most important relationship you have is the one with
HAPPY MONDAY, my friends!