Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Come Waste Your Time With Me

Hey!  It has been really uneventful which is why I haven't written a minute.

First and foremost I'd like to get rid of my adult acne thank everyone who read my last post.  I was blown away by the anxiety I felt from oversharing positive responses I got and you all made me feel like my decision to share my story was a safe one. Most importantly, thank you to those who shared your stories with me - as corny as it may sound, I felt honored that people who reached out felt comfortable enough to do so AND OH MY GOD THIS IS TURNING INTO AN OSCAR AWARD ACCEPTANCE SPEECH, MY APOLOGIES.  But seriously, the struggle with alcohol/partying/being hungover/not being able to get control is so real.  I'm still feeling really anxious about my overshare happy to have played a part in making it OK to openly discuss.

I have been exponentially better at not drunk texting staying away from the party circuit since my last post, aside from last weekend when I was reminded of why I hate hangovers more than I hate Michael Vick and non-recreational mushrooms. Again, the struggle: it's fucking real. BABY STEPS.

Anyway.  I've been experiencing major writer's block lately so today I've decided to share a compilation of random events that've occurred in the last few months:

April Fool's Day fell on a Saturday this year which kind of sucked as there's nothing better than pulling pranks in the office.  I managed to carry on my tradition of duping an unsuspecting coworker via text which was oddly satisfying - I also duped a close friend who sadly, I'm not sure really knows me at all.  Have a look:

I spotted a woman walk of shaming barefoot in FiDi which was next level savage.  I didn't judge, I've been there - just not in the most densely populated part of a metropolis.  Get yourself checked for Hep C, my friend! Again, no judgments, this comes from a place of relief that things could be way worse for me love.

I got my first period when I was eleventeen migraine which really sucked.  I have a high threshold for pain - one time I got a 4 inch shard of glass stuck in my foot and I didn't even wince as the doctor pulled it out (that's what she said?).  So when I woke up cold and alone last Thursday morning with a 22 year old bumble guy who wore boot leg jeans and had braces a debilitating headache I thought I could pop some advil and move on with my day.  But no, said headache continued on throughout the day and I felt like I was continually being slugged in the face by Tanya Harding. Fast forward to 2 hours and 50 bucks later in UrgentCare to a hot doctor (who I've likely crossed paths with on Bumble) probing my lymph nodes and sticking a needle in my ass after concluding I was likely experiencing a migraine or tension headache.  Thanks for the insightful prognosis, doc!  V helpful. AND JESUS THIS IS A BORING STORY, I THINK I JUST GAVE MYSELF ANOTHER MIGRAINE.

WHY DID RICHARD SIMMONS BECOME A RECLUSE.  I'm completely transfixed by this after staying up until 3am on a school night listening to the Missing Richard Simmons podcast.  You gotta listen.

I went home to Virginia to see my parents which was awesome - I got to see my dogs too, and dig through old family photos only to come across this gem - ahhh family is responsible for all of my deep-rooted emotional issues stemming from childhood everything.

nothing - truly, nothing has changed. my favorite is my mom yelling at my brother for flipping the bird.
I got my hair chopped off, which feels weird since I've had the same haircut since I was 13.

After some back and forth I decided last weekend I wanted to be on a Bravo reality show that I'd tried out for a few months back.  I was ready to put my John Hand-cock on a contract only to be informed by the producer that show was being filmed in NYC, not SF. Talk about blue balls - I even sent the below screenshot to all of my friends and family.  It was probably for the breast AND THIS WHOLE BULLET POINT FEELS LIKE A HUMBLEBRAG, BUT YOU WOULD TELL EVERYONE TOO!! Sorry for yelling and for projecting... :(

My nephew got to hang with his idol, RuPaul on Saturday which reignited my adoration for him and his resolve to be exactly who he is.  I'm referring to RuPaul, fyi. Just kidding.


My temporary lapse in color judgment at the nail place recently left me with nails that looked like dead teeth.

I started a podcast!  You can listen here!  It'll make you feel better about your life, promise.

Hmmm... that's all I have.  Happy dry hump day, friendos!  Get dim sum.

xo, Nige

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